Striving for perfection is a fool’s errand.
Continual growth and improvement, getting better every day, learning, failing, making mistakes, trying new things, seeing new places, dealing with challenges, resolving the unexpected, accepting the unfortunate; these are all part of the beauty of an imperfect life.
Check Yourself (& Your Unreasonable Expectations) Before You Wreck Yourself
I understand the social pressure of appearing perfect. My family has always touted our pristine reputation, the respect we have, the name, the status; things to never tarnish. To tread carefully and represent the family, and myself, in the best light possible. Keeping private anything that contradicts that image.
I also hold myself to unreasonable expectations. Things I thought I should be, should want, people I thought I should be surrounded by; all to keep up with the expectations I had set for myself. As someone once told me, “stop shoulding on yourself.” Should is a loaded mental trap, you’ll never be as perfect as you think you should be. We’re designed to be self centered and overly focused on our own imperfections, so why not accept them rather than try to hide them. You are the one setting those expectations, or accepting them from the people around you.
Perfect is Boring, Just Let Go
Guess what – if you let go of it all, life becomes infinitely easier. And I don’t mean you’ll have less problems, or challenges, or issues to deal with. I mean, you’ll accept them at face value and deal with them properly, instead of trying to hide them, and living in constant fear that they’ll be discovered. The people who own their imperfections are the ones having the most fun.
The imperfections are what make us human.
The imperfections are what make life interesting.
The imperfections are what draw us closer together. Shared trials can forge the greatest bonds.
What’s the point of being perfect? Perfect is boring. Perfect is sterile. Perfect is uninspiring. Life is messy, and it’s exciting because of that. And real. And honest. And enjoyable. And if you change your perspective to revel in the imperfections, you get to savor those moments, good, bad, and everywhere in between.
Often times the most memorable moments are those where things don’t go as planned and everything blows up unexpectedly. It’s the jarring displacement from your routine that makes things stick out. Things are always bound to go wrong, you do what you can to plan and account for unexpected events, but usually you just have to roll with the punches when things pop up unexpectedly.
A Brief Anecdotal Detour
I remember a trip I booked with my buddy to go to our friend’s wedding in Hong Kong. We wanted to make the most of it, so we decided we would go to Shanghai for a few nights before Hong Kong. We booked the flights and hotels and were ready and set to go. We also made sure to read through China’s very specific visa requirements, and everything checked out. Hong Kong didn’t technically fall under the full visa requirements, so as long we were in China for no more than 72 hours, we were golden. Or so we thought.
When we arrived at LAX and attempted to check in at the kiosk the attendant informed us that they couldn’t let us board the flight because we didn’t have the requisite visa. 2 hours before the flight, we panicked, scrambled, and reread everything. It turns out, that although Hong Kong is considered a third region for visa requirement purposes, if you begin your stay in Mainland China, going to Hong Kong keeps the clock ticking, meaning we would overstay our 72 hour welcome. If we had gone to Hong Kong first, we’d have had no problem (crazy, I know).
The kiosk crew told us to forget Hong Kong and go elsewhere. We couldn’t forgo our Hong Kong stay, the wedding was the whole point of the trip! We also already had reservations in Shanghai. So, we worked with what we had, and in the airport we forfeited our ticket from Shanghai to Hong Kong, purchased new one way tickets to Manila, and then completely separate one way tickets from Manila to Hong Kong (departing only an hour after we landed in Manila). We figured all this out and made all the purchases within 45 minutes at the kiosk before our flight was set to depart.
It was absurd, a pain in the ass, and we had to wake up bright and early in Shanghai to begin our 10 hour journey to and from Manila to completely clear all Chinese regions, to then be able to fly back to Hong Kong. We didn’t know if we’d be able to actually get to Hong Kong for sure, the whole trip we were worried they would ship us back to the US if they found out about our roundabout re-entry. In Manila we had to fully exit the airport with all our luggage, clear customs, then circle right back into the airport. And we took a giant sigh of relief once we made it to our hotel in Hong Kong. We did it, all above board, and it’s one of our most memorable stories from that trip. All the stress, and uncertainty, and headache, now makes us laugh and it was one hell of an experience.
I could have equally recounted that trip and told the story as if it was a miserable time, where things went wrong, cost us more money, and the trip was ruined. It’s all in our perspective on the idiosyncrasies of life. Sure, it was a bit stressful at the time, but that’s precisely the reason it was also so memorable.
Live Honestly & Own the Imperfections
If you focus on perfection and living a supposedly perfect life, you’ll miss out on the joys of life that come from owning the imperfections. Living open and honestly endears you as a human being to others around you. We all have things we’re dealing with, struggling through life (remember it’s everyone’s first time through), and that shared imperfection brings us closer together. It builds character, experience, and trust.
You can own the imperfections while striving for excellence. Those aren’t mutually exclusive. If you think about it, that’s the mark of great service. It’s how some of the best and most progressive companies operate. Taking ownership of the fact that not everything they do is perfect, but that they are continually working hard to grow and provide better products and services. An endless cycle of improvement. When we hear that, we stick around.
Don’t Miss Out on Your Life
So what are the dire consequences of the pursuit of perfection? You live in a constant state of stress, anxiety, and pursuit of a future that does not exist. Never fully getting to live in the present. Never allowing yourself to look fondly on the past. The bottom line: you miss out on your life. So try to take a step back, take a deep breath, and accept the faults, the blemishes, the imperfections of life, and enjoy it while it’s happening. But hey, you don’t have to be perfect at that either. 🙂
Some Other Interesting Reads & Takes on the Matter
